& i;m feeling more & more like less & less.

i was crying earlier, for the first time in i can;t remember how long. something too deep to say in english & too shallow to express with a cut on my wrist. "beyond" what pain is. poetic metaphors don;t do my heart any justice at all, even with poetic license.

but this girl made me smile. i was destroyed, ten minutes ago. i couldn;t see for the tears, i couldn;t think for the hurt.

but then, she sent me these.

CLICK NO. 1.
CLICK NO. 2.
CLICK NO. 3.
CLICK NO. 4.

i like laura a lot. maybe she won;t hurt me like she did.

& the girl steph is such a beautiful listener. i need to find more people like her, but the fact is, SHE;S ONE IN A FUCKING BILLION.

(& you, you were one in a half. people like you make people commit suicide with a coathanger.)

music: metallica; fade to black
mood: like a whore